Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The What Could Have Been ...

I'm nestled peacefully in the corner of a Starbucks and I am reflecting on the past little while.  There have been some major changes in my life that have made me question even if I should blog any more.  More on that thought later.

Last week was the end of what was for me known as "The Associate Pastor".  I have served at a church for the past year and a bit and now a new chapter of my life has opened up.  As I have had a week to reflect on this transition, I have wondered, "what COULD have been", "what MIGHT have been" and "what PROBABLY WOULD have been" but the truth is WHAT WILL BE will not really be up to me.  In all honesty, whatever could, might or probably would have been wouldn't have been up to me anyway as it wasn't mine to decide.  It is up to God to do what He wants, when He wants how He wants and I am content with that.  His ways and His thoughts are perfect because they are His and He is God. (Isaiah 55:8)  I had to let go and let God do it the way that He has planned for that church.  In my humanity, that is difficult.  For me, who likes to "fix" or "control" things, my natural response is to try to make it the way that I think it should be and go the way that I think it should go.  But I have taken things as far as I am supposed to and now it is on to something new for me.

I heard this quote recently by Marsha Petrie Sue and I think it sums it up really well:
"Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be."
I need to let go of the past and press on to the future. What the future holds, only God knows.  He has been with me every step of the way and I know that He will go with me as I enter into this new leg of the journey.  He has a plan for me! Jeremiah 29:11-13 reminds me of this with:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." (NLT)
The only thing that God asks of me is that I seek Him wholeheartedly.  The best part about that is if I seek Him, I will find Him.  Now there is something that I can take to the bank!  So I look to God as to what my future holds and trust Him to lead me.  Where do I look?  Well ... I look into His Word.  Psalm 119:105 says. "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."(NLT)  It doesn't say that God will light up the whole valley and show me the big picture, but it does say that He will show me the next steps to take as I trust Him to lead me.

As for the blog and whether to keep writing or not ... well ... I feel that God would want me to continue on sharing my thoughts and experiences.  Because God is my lead, I am, and always will be, His associate so watch for more updates to come in the future.

Never Lose the Passion,

1 comment:

  1. Dean;
    I just want to encourage you to keep on trucking. I'm touched by your love for people and your willingness to be open and transparent. These qualities are one of the many things that I find lacking from our church leadership (that and the willingness to let people into their social circles). Although your time has concluded in your current position I know that he is going to continue to use you. Since I left Bible College I have learnt so many things that where not covered in the classes that I actually passed. You know me and I tend to shy away from Christian clichés because I find them rather ridiculous but what I believe is that what ever you do, God’s going to be there with you. I have a feeling that he can do so much more with you while you are no longer “behind the desk.”
    In regards to your posts, keep them coming because you are reaching people. For example this post came to me at a time that I can really relate. It made me realize that I have been looking too much at what could have been and not on what I could be. Thank you for the spiritual kick in the but.

    Although I don’t have the details on what happened I want you to remember that grace is something that is rarely given or understood by Church leadership/his “followers.” The great thing about God is that he offers grace no matter what situation you are in.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.